Permission to complain.

I have had this thought the last two days. "I don't think my life is as hard right now as I have said that it is."
Why in the heck would I ever claim that my life is harder than it actually is.  Is it for a pity party? I don't think so.

When I thought about it enough, I got to the bottom of it.

I have been given permission to complain...so I do. Even if I don't really have anything to complain about.

So, I am here to set the record straight.

People usually see me with my kids (one at a time). This is the most common occurrence.
"Oh look at those ______(Fill in the blank with cheeks, curls, shoes, blue eyes)"
"Yeah, he's pretty sweet"
"How old is he"
"______(state the current age)"
"Awe."
And then they see it...the other kid!
"Oh my goodness you have another!"
"Yes I do!"
"And how old is he"
"____(State current age, which always equals 14 months and 3 weeks younger than the last stated age)"
This is where the permission to complain comes in.
I can almost say it with them..."Wow, you have your hands full!"
depending on the person, it varies from, "oh, you are busy" or "you must miss sleep" or anything that remotely resembles the idea that the task at hand (which happens to be raising two boys under 1 1/2) is rather daunting. But occasionally I have a person who says, "Mine are ______ months apart", I have never had any one give me a number higher than 19.
- you may think that I am not being literal her, but I dare you to ask Meggie or Allyson or anyone on the elevators with me each Sunday morning...this is basically verbatim -
Inevitably, I agree with them. INEVITABLY! EVERY TIME!

I have never once responded with, "It's not so bad" or "somedays are harder than others" or anything other than "Yep" followed by a sheepish smile that may actually ask them to take pity on me.

But I realized yesterday that I was doing this completely unintentionally. I actually had ZERO intentions about what I was saying to every person who has ever said this to me. And it's not bad to agree that I am busy, but I even say it like, "It's terrible-feel sorry for me."

SO HERE IT IS FRIENDS! My apologies, and the truth.
I am tired.
I am tired because in general I have 2 kids, I work from home, I serve at my church with the youth, college, and music ministries, and I love to have people over to my house. Who wouldn't be tired.
BUT!
The truth. My kids only wear me out because they are kids...like ever other mother ever in the history of the world. We finish a day and we are tired.
I love my job, my boss, and my co-worker who happens to be Fos' God mom. It is flexible and a worthy cause.
I have a sweet friend (with two boys) that joins me and the boys for play dates regularly, which are awesome...and so is she, you should check out her blog here.
I have a husband who has Fridays off and a flexible schedule who comes home from work for lunch most days.
I have an amazing Mother in Law who visits regularly. Parents who come down regularly. Fos' God parents who watch the boys all the time. And! My neighbors are outside almost everyday so we get like an our of playtime! (thank you Texas for the whether that make that possible.)
AND TO ICE MY BLESSED CAKE, my 3 almost 4 month old has been sleeping through the night regularly since 7 weeks.

and lets face it...some days really are hard, but not the majority of them!

Bottom line...
I have the sweetest boys. Fos is funny, kind, gentle with his bro, curious, silly, entertaining...and of course he is one and a half so he throws short fits, he wakes up every night, and wants to be "where the party at" instead of going ti sleep. When he is tired he is a handful...and that witching hour thing is real.
Keating basically cries when he is hungry, dirty, and sometimes when he is tired. He sleeps like a champ and rolls over.
That is it. I laugh 99% more than I cry!
I have no extra room to say that my life is any harder than any other momma out there.

So please friends, accept my apologies for saying that its soooo hard. It is hard...but not bad or unusually difficult all the time. And for goodness sake, stop expecting me to think that it should be.

Thanks for stopping by!