Thursday, July 3, 2014

my Jesus year.

33. My Jesus Year. At least that is what we say around here when you turn 33. You know, "it's your Jesus year, make it count!". Things of that nature.

I feel like I can say with a good amount of self assurance, This has been a good year. I am aware that I could have rose tinted glasses on here, but the truth is, I have exuded much effort to become a more Godly wife, mom, and friend.
I have the curse of sarcasm and a quick tongue, I know that this can (and most likely does) result in hurt feelings. I know that this is not good, so I have tried hard this year to be slow to speak. This is sooo much harder than one may think it is.

I did a study this year called Freeway: a not so perfect guide to freedom with college students. I highly recommend it. I believe it was an 8 week study. On the last day we took a look back through the book. Reflecting on the change in my life was a little shocking. I saw that I started out the second half of my Jesus year pretty convinced that I was sub-par at most things including, but not limited to; my job, my marriage, keeping the house clean, being a mom, and being a consistent friend.
What I had learned at the end of the study is that I had set my expectations of myself a little too high...I am not Super Woman, as much as I try and convince myself that I am (or should be) on a daily basis. The truth is that the most important relationship I have is with the Lord and he has set me free from all kinds of ugly, including shame, guilt, and insecurity. Through the process of this study, I actually listened as the Lord led my heart to a place that he could whisper (through my pride) that he loved me as I am, and that I am doing the best that I can, and "now" is a season. I humbly said, "Thanks God, let's get working on things here. So, I actually made some changes that would help a few things in my life improve and allow me to say that it is not by is by the grace of God that I could even say that this year was a great year, and I feel pretty great about it.
Here are some highlights:

I had a second baby boy...he turned out to be pretty dang cute.
I did not fail at being a mom to "two under two". I mean, I am, therefore I am their mom. 
I have operated at full capacity. 
I have, I think, been a pretty good wife.
I have kept my house looking okay for at least a third of this year. 
I have allowed myself to grow and change.
I have made new wonderful friendships, and been able to maintain a few and watch some old ones have some new growth.  
I have hopefully allowed the Lord to love others through my life.
I have been able to see an amazing group of my small group girls graduate from High School.
I have been able to chat with amazing College age women about their lives. 
I have told my story. 
I have cried with, laughed with, mourned with and celebrated with friends and family. 
I have tried to be honest. (with myself, my family, the Lord)
I have LOVED HARD. My husband and my's a joy to love these people!
I have accepted help from the village that is helping me raise my boys (Oh, I cannot raise them alone. I need the help, I want the help, I have the help.)
The final things I am going to share is this; I have taken control of my health this year. Y'all, I was pregnant for what seemed like 2 years straight. I took a 6 month sabbatical, but got right back on it.
Being pregnant with K was so hard. Losing the weight from the pregnancy seemed to be impossible and I felt terrible. I was tired, slow, weak, and exhausted. I was eating everything off of my plate, Fosters plate, and the pans I cooked on as I cleaned the kitchen.  I decided in Feb (shortly after starting Freeway) that I would get things under control - so I walked into the doors of Weight Watchers on Valentines day. I started their new Simply Filling Plan...and as of Last friday I had lost 25 pounds. I have started running again too.
I feel so good. I feel healthy, strong and young. I can keep up with my kids. I eat almost exclusively "power" foods, so I am less tired, more energized, and my mind is much clearer. 

All in all...this has been an exceptional year!

So, let's all raise a glass...Here is to 34!

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