Thursday, March 11, 2010

probably the hardest part




I think that I have decided the hardest part about being married. Holidays.
This is such a predicament. Let me say that I love my family and love my in-laws. And I think that this is why it is so hard.

This is the kind of stuff that needs to be talked about in pre-marital counceling. We are doing the best we can with it and try our hardest to let everyone know how much we love them and care for them...we just hope it is working.

I think the thing that makes it so hard is that we live close to Andrew's family and we live far from mine. They are both amazing and totally understand and never complain or say anything to us...but, it doesn't change the way that Andrew and I feel.

We switch holidays with our families. Like this year we spent Thanksgiving with my family in Imperial, and we spent Christmas with Andrews parents here...but my parents decided to come into town on Christmas day...so My family got to see us on Christmas and Thanksgiving, but Andrews family only got to see us on Christmas...and a lot of other days for lunch or at the office...but soooo not the same.

And then there is the thought that when we go to see my family, we are literally spending a week at their house. We don't go many places, we just spend time at my parents house...this isn't fair to Andrew's parent's when we stay at their house for a day rather than a week, because this is Their holiday but we also happen to live here.

And then there is birthdays...which leads me to this post. My dad's birthday is on Saturday. Scott's birthday (Andrew's dad) is on Sunday. And since we live by his parent's we all get to celebrate every ones birthday together...which I love! But, at the same time, I don't get to celebrate my dad's birthday and 2 weeks ago, my family all got together to celebrate my grandma's 90th Birthday. My only living grandparent, and the only I have had since 7th grade. But the celebration was on a Sunday...so I couldn't go cause I had to work...but we are celebrating Scott's birthday on a Sunday and we can go, because they live a mile from home and work...do you see where the frustration comes in!
I guess it is good that I get frustrated that both of us want to spend more time with our families...


I know there really isn't an answer to all of this, and it really isn't that bad, it is just weeks like last week when two friends have babies and you can only make it to see one...or this week when two dad's have birthdays but you can only celebrate with one...that make me cry a little and then be glad for the fact that I have family close, or even family at all...

The way we deal? Well, I sit on my floor and cry and pout and Andrew explains how we don't have 8 extra hours of drive time to spare and how Dave Ramsey says spending that much money on gas at this time is not wise. Does it help? NO, but what will? The only thing that helps is the fact that I am nearly best friends with my brother, I talk to my mom and dad all the time and I have in-laws that people can only dream about having. I am married to the man that far exceeds any dream I ever had and I know that they all love Jesus...and me...

And that is how I will get myself through this short pity party.

On the list of things that are worth complaining about in life, this is probably near the bottom...but that just gives us another reason to thank God for the blessings.

Love ya,
Sarah

3 comments:

Amy said...

This has nothing to do with this story, but I just saw that I'm on your favorite blogs list!!! It warmed my heart. :)

Tyler Tankersley said...

Sarah,

This is an issue for us as well. My family has three 20-somethings, and can pretty much take off work when they need to so they can come and see us.

Jess' family still has two teenagers at home, and it is a little harder for them both time-wise and financially to come to us.

It's not easy. And you are constantly worried that you are being unfair to the other. But I think the best thing we have done is just been pretty honest with our families.

Tyler

P.S. It is ridiculous that we do not see you guys more often. Let's change that soon.

Spring Patch said...

Sarah, this is totally a frustrating part about being married--I agree! Our situation is a little different, but the end result is the same... Andy and never argue, but figuring out holidays always ends up in us both being pretty frustrated with each other.

Miss you!
BKD