Monday, March 5, 2012

Faithful. An honest conversation.

I volunteer with the youth at our church. Right now they are doing a series called "Hunger Games." Yes, I was totally stoked when I heard...then I learned that it didn't actually have anything to do with the books...but it did have to do with the fact that we all hunger for something and most of the time we will do whatever it takes to get it.

Two weeks ago, Stephen spoke about Abram and Sarai. He talked about how God had made them a promise about their descendants. They wanted children so badly, that even though the Lord had promised this to them, they just couldn't wait. They took matters into their own hands. This didn't go very well.
And even still, 25 years after the Lord had promised them a child, God made good on his promise.

Because God is Faithful!

As I listened to Stephen my heart was stirred and I was overcome with a very vivid memory.
Somewhere between 2 and 3 years ago, Andrew and I had a very deep conversation about our lives and our pasts. It was a beautiful night, we prayed together and I cried a little and we talked about how we just want our lives to honor the Lord, and we want to be good spouses. After our conversation was finished, we were laying in bed, I rolled over and it was like I audibly heard the Lord tell me, "you will have a family."

Immediately, I told Andrew, "I think I just heard the Lord promise me a family."

Nothing before or since then has anything like that ever happened.

But here is the thing. Two weeks ago, I sat and listened to Stephen share about Abram and Sarai and I realized that I had also hungered for a family so badly that I had reasoned/justified the words I was so sure were from the Lord into something else.

I had told myself that by "family", it meant adoption or the youth who we get to invest in who may not have firm families. I justified the word so that it was okay for me to have less faith in the Lord.

In all reality, I had come to a point where it really was okay if I didn't have my own, because what I listed is FAMILY after all...but as I sat and heard this message, I was reminded so clearly that those definitions are not what I knew the Lord had said to me that night. We are having a child...

God is Faithful.

I have been struggling with the fact that I am raising support this year. This is SUCH a humbling thing to do, and I have moments of "Dear Lord, I don't know if anyone is going to support me!" panic. As I have been thinking on the Faithfulness of the Lord, it has been such a blessing to know that I will have what I need...

God is Faithful.

Andrew and I finished Romans yesterday.
Romans 15:13
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."

Hope. Belief. God is Faithful.

We started 1 Corinthians today.
1 Corinthians 1:9
"God is Faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."

God is Faithful.

We sang this song at church yesterday. I have sang it before, but yesterday was MORE.
I came undone. I couldn't event move my lips. I just stood with tears streaming down my face, BELIEVING even in my wandering, doubting, problem solving, worrying, and fear...that

I hope it blesses you.

1 comment:

Melody Cynthia said...

I loved this post. And this song has been stuck in my head for the past 2 weeks - so good! Love you!!!